This is why people who are in love do not see the same things as people who aren't.
"In love" is a term with so much stigma attached to it I do not know if it is possible to use it without evoking certain connotations. I use it here in it's purest form. I am in love with the colour yellow. I am in love with the cello. I am in love with certain dancers when I see them perform.
The confusion of this feeling with the other feeling of "in love" is, I think, why so many people fall in love with actresses, or why artists have a hard time with marriage. I am a definately straight woman and I have fallen in love with dozens of actresses. I am still in love with some of them. When you are in love in such a pure way it doesn't matter because what you are in love with is an idea anyway.
I do not understand why anyone would ever need to "get buzzed" why anyone would ever need to go chemical thrill seeking if they could unlock their fermenting memories. If they knew they were there in the first place. Who needs a joint when there are phonixes plunging into the ocean at sunset down on Ala Moana beach? Or fairy turns in tandem flight in the banyan trees? Little bird shapes cut right out of the canvas of vision to the pure white underneath. Or the idealized concept of woman? Or music!?
Music and movement combined to counterpoint and compliment each other on the aural and visual planes similtaniously. I am in love with a dancer. I can not describe her, who she is doesn' t matter I love her on stage. And I do not love her all the time. I do not love her when she is dancing ballet. I do not love her when I see her back stage. I love her when she fills the stage completely with raw power and emotion that make me want to wrench something inside of me open and cry out.
Art! Should! Be! THIS!
I am a huge fan or Cowboy Bebop. The character of Julia is, I think, within the medium a perfect example of this sort of perception. I have heard people comment that they don't particularly like her, she's too bland, and someone spent too much time working on rendering her. She's too artisticly shiney.
To me that is the point. Because she is not real. She is just a woman. She is nothing special. Except Spike is in love with her, and there is no way to show that if she is just a woman. We don't ever see Julia. We see what Spike sees and that is something that does not belong on the canvass of vision, it's been cut out of the air. Because it is not being seen it is being perceived in memory even in the present.
I watched "The Lost Prince" and fell in love. And at the end when the two boys are running in the field I saw a screen filled with yellow, a sea of yellow with two small boys in the middle of it. I watched it again. And it is not that yellow. There is only a smattering of flowers among the grass, dusting it with yellow.
But that doesn't matter because I will always have an image that is completely yellow.
And I will always have my dancer who I love so painful I think I could dissolve, who is really just a woman.
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